A Successful Failure
by Aeci
Summary: Bruce is ready to end it all... But something stops him, as he should've known. One-Shot. Warning for attempted suicide.


_**A/N:**__ I've wanted to write a one-shot about this scene for a while, so I finally got around to it. There's a warning for disturbing imagery and attempted suicide. On that note, please e__njoy! Leave a review if you're so inclined, too – they make me a happy author!_

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**A Successful Failure**

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It was cold.

Then again, the end of the world had always been cold. It didn't matter if you were speaking of physical whereabouts or emotional feelings, because right now, I could vouch for both.

And I was as cold as could be.

My energy was fading and the blistering winds offered no relief to the burning in my face. The numbness of my knees was arresting, but they found refuge from the wind as they dug out channels in the deep snow. Every movement was harder than the next until I finally collapsed. The snow, glacial and dry, kept whistling past my ears.

It didn't care about a lone man in the Arctic.

If I stayed here, unmoving, I would be buried beneath the storm. But I wouldn't be alive long enough to experience this, because I had my own means of dying. And unlike other humans – if I could even call myself one anymore – a quick death was the one thing I hoped for now.

_Will you let me go? …If I have no more fight to continue on, what about then?_

I didn't have to turn around to see the transparent blood streaked behind me, stolen from the remains of people I'd never hoped to hurt. The crimson followed me even now, pooling into the grave I'd hollowed into the snow. It didn't let up.

But at least Elizabeth was alive.

Thank God.

She was my reason for doing this, down to the running and the revolver that I cradled in my hand. And after being alone in my head for so long, in the corners of the world, I had grown to realize something – she had kept me alive all this time. I was grateful to her for this.

But it didn't keep the blood from pooling, or the skeletons from snapping under my feet. I was a monster.

_I'm doing this for you, Betty… For everyone. Please understand._

The muzzle of the gun was luring itself towards me. All the while, I was numb. I wasn't in pain, or fearful of the tool that gave me the power to take my life. I was only fearful of what would happen if I failed. I didn't want to live like this, keep myself alive as a weapon to maim and harm. And while Elizabeth didn't want me to go, I would let both of us down if I stayed. She loved me. It wasn't enough. I would go on to kill more people.

The cycle of death would only grow worse. And because of my crimes, I had been ostracized from the world in the same way a dog is ostracized from the pack. I couldn't go back to the way I used to be. Did I even age? Could I truly even die?

_You can't think like this! You can't!_

Now, it was just the front of the gun and the back of my throat. Polar opposites. Funny. Just like the broken shell of my mind. I had all this coming, though. I realized this only now, as I thought back to the start.

It was an operation to make us better. Stronger. To put soldiers on the front lines without fear of injury or death, and only a confidence that the opposition's bodies would pile up. But how could we possibly have played God and thought everything would turn out okay in the end? How could we do such a thing to ourselves?

_Stop. How could you have known this would happen?_

That wasn't the point! How could I destroy my whole life by riding on the whims of a faraway dream? I had so much going for me – I was a scientist, a man with a promising future and a clean slate in which to work, build and foster an empire of honest triumph. I was supposed to help the world. I had failed.

_Now look who you are… What you are._

I shut my eyes. The world was too pure for someone like me, and I couldn't give myself the satisfaction of seeing it for one last time. And the moment I did close my eyes, I forgot what everything looked like anyways. I didn't know this place anymore. It was just a vessel.

I put the gun in my mouth.

_Three._

My throat tightened. I felt the metal scraping against my teeth.

_Two._

My breathing became more erratic. It took all my power to steady it again. If I couldn't keep myself aware, the fight would already be lost. I couldn't let myself go. Not now.

_One._

_ Elizabeth… You were the love of my life. You were the one person who tried so hard to help me, to shelter me. I'm just… I'm so sorry that nothing came out of it. But it's not your fault. Maybe it's not even my fault. Maybe it's because I was dead all along._

With a loud, unreal cacophony of noise, the bullet sank into my throat. I felt nothing at first, but then came warmth, a glowing light of hope opening up inside of me. Stickiness overcame it, then choking. I couldn't breathe.

It was working.

So, I hadn't aimed the gun high enough. It didn't matter. I started to cough, my chest contracting and trying to clear my lungs of blood. The warmth in my throat began to grow. My head began to pound. I was closer to death than ever now.

Or so I thought.

My throat became hotter, and this heat grew until everything was searing over. My hands trembled, and the frostbite vanished as burning blood tainted my skin. I tried to relax, but it was too late. I would wake up, and the bullet would be gone. I would be alive.

But something wasn't right. As my head decayed and my body transformed, I didn't feel the familiar loss of control like I normally did. I felt a fleeting stir of sadness, only to be replaced by anger that shouldn't even have manifested so soon. I was still here.

And I was disgusted.

I reached into my mouth to pull the bullet out. The pain of splitting bones burnt through my skull as my jaw broke, but something rendered me incapable of crying out. When I finally tore the bullet away, I fell forward and spit out green blood, broken teeth, before my throat lit up with fire as my vocal cords reformed. As the anger ebbed away, I yelled in agony.

I was a fool to think this would work.

_Betty… I'm sorry! I tried to end this, but now it's taking me away again, and I don't want it to! I don't…_

It was happening at last. My head went ablaze with battery acid. Images of violence and heat swirled through me with tantalizing echoes of power. And just before the last of me faded away, I heard a voice whispering in my ear:

_You really think that you're a failure? But what were you aiming for in that experiment, Doctor Bruce Banner? Your trials were to help people become resistant, to become stronger, to kill. Now, let me show you just how successful you really are._


End file.
